Suddenly I felt I had tried to repair a broken dream and it no longer looked like what it had originally intended to be.  However much the family in Victoria emotionally supported me they could not repair the rest of the damage to my dream.  And I felt guilty I had gone to such lengths to cling on to something that was no longer viable. 

 My love took me back to the UK knowing my marriage was over but determined to save it.  How could I save something that was over?  Well, I just felt being in Canada was a different place to where my challenge really lay.  If your son or daughter dies while you are away you go back – there has to be closure.  For me it was addressing the marriage and family.  With that emotional support in the form of a marriage apparently gone I knew I would not be able to return to Canada.  There was no dream to live on my own dealing with a dead marriage and baggage.